Conform!!!!

Life in general, is absurd, and all of this conformity is beyond absurd.....

No longer do people recognize and encourage individuality.
No longer do people teach children to do what they think is right, instead of what everybody else thinks is the right thing to do.

We're all bred to conform to everything we're told right when we arrive in this world.
Grow up, go to school, get great grades, go to college, get a normal job, get married, have children, and then die.

The FDA controls everything we eat, and is even in the process of passing an act that will allow genetically modified salmon mixed in with the other salmon without labeling it.

The media tells us bullshit everyday that people listen to and lives their lives by.
They spend more time talking about celebrities lives than their own challenges.

Americans spend their lives acting as if the glorious T.V. is the Bible.
People spend the entire day glued to their cellphones and in their own little worlds.

Instead of being taught morals and character, kids are now taught to look out for only themselves and to trust nobody.

For example, if you choose not to go to college in this society, you are cursed upon (at least I was). People don't understand that while a degree might have uses, It's no guarantee to getting a job in todays economy. Some friends of mine have gone and earned a degree, gotten a masters, and then went on to get another degree. A degree can be a great thing in certain fields, but not in film. I had a distant Aunt tell me that I'm stupid and nothing if I don't get one. Who the hell does she think she is to tell me I'm stupid and nothing?

Besides, what the heck would a degree in film earn me? It's the reason I dropped out of college.
I'm not going to sit there and waste my time taking seven math courses in two years and taking dozens of classes I don't want to just since some counselor tells me I have to do it. Just because society tells me I have to do it. If I want to be a writer, I'll write instead.

I wrote a play for my english teacher sophomore year of college that we performed in front of a dozen high schools, and I still have to sit through two more english classes?

Besides, film teachers are usually those who've failed in the profession they are teaching in. Why would I waste a few years of my life listening to someone who failed as an artist try to tell me how to be an artist?

You can't teach art. And people don't recognize that anymore. Did Picasso, Andrei Rublev, and Van Gogh attend a painting school and get a masters degree in painting? Did Fyodor Dostoyevsky get a degree in creative writing? Did Maria Callas get a degree in singing? NO....

Did Federico Fellini, Charlie Chaplin, Luis Bunuel, and Fritz Lang get degrees in Film?

OR did they all take everything they experienced, everything other people experienced, and everything they felt while living and mix it into their own films?

You either are an artist, or you aren't.
And telling someone they must have a degree to be an artist is absurd.

So why shouldn't I try to find out if I am one while I'm young?

To be an great artist, I believe you have to suffer greatly.....
And suffer I must.

So one day the world can see the beauty, sadness, truth, and absurdity of my art.

Someone to Love

The rain's woke me up in the middle of the night. After a night of drinking and discussing the meaning of life, I now sit here contemplating my thoughts on the subject.

Have you ever seen someone alone or in great pain?

Loneliness seems to follow everyone at some point in their lives.....

Throughout my life i've been drawn to lonely people.

Their lives, experiences, successes, failures, and happiness.

As a filmmaker, i'm interesting in every beings story. After all, isn't life just a story with a beginning, middle, and an end when you think about it?

I've tried hard to see the positive side in everyone. To bring people insight and to take their life experiences when I shape my own characters and situations in the scripts I write.

But I can't help but feel sympathy for the sadness that others have felt. Others that don't have a home or a family. Others that have lost their love ones and friends, whether it be to war, death, or both. Others that have been scarred by great tragedy. Others that are willing to give up and end their lives today. I sometimes wish I could sweep away all the pain they have. Then again, some say that pain helps us evolve into better people. But how much pain is enough?

Nowadays no one will lend a hand to their neighbor. People don't trust anybody.... Most everyone acts selfish and only thinks of themselves. What's best for them.... And the sad thing is, it seems that if you don't act like that, you'll fall behind and you won't succeed in this society.

How are we to seek Someone to love when there is so much pain and selfishness nowadays? People look everywhere for love, and sometimes they believe they've found it, but most of the time it fades away. . . .

People cheat, get older and change, and even grow to a point where they can't stand being with each other.

I think it boils down to the fact that nobody wants to be alone. We all have this need to share our lives with someone. We're hardwired this way....

Do soulmates exist? It might be possible that a soul exists, but scientifically people argue against it. Although I find myself observing the beauty of certain things in life, and at these times I feel overwhelmed. You'll probably know what i'm talking about when you get chills down your spine. It only happens a select few times in our lives, but when it does, you never forget the feeling....

Does fate exist? I truly believe so. Everything does happen for a reason. Maybe it's all scripted, or maybe it occurs randomly.

Now, does True Love exist? I don't believe anyone can quite say whether it does or not. At this point in my life, I'm leaning towards the stance that it doesn't. How many couples or marriages do you know of that lasted till the grave? Not enough, that's all I say.

All I know is that there isn't any meaning of life. There is a desire. The desire to love, be loved, succeed, survive, and do exactly what you want to do. And those who don't have the courage will fail.

But remember,

Everyone needs Someone to Love........

Lost Innocence

Do you remember anything from your childhood?

Chances are you recall bits and pieces, but traumatic memories stick with you the rest of your life.
As children, we all have a powerful gift. The gift of innocence. The ability to see beauty in simple things and to live without worries. When something traumatic occurs, namely death, or when we get older, we lose this innocence. It's something you can simply never get back....

Look back if you can to when you lost your own innocence....
Try to recall it.

I was five at the time. I remember my mother stopped at a grocery store. Apparently I was acting up or something and she thought she would teach me a "lesson". She left me in the car alone while going inside. I got out of the car after 5-10 minutes and a stranger tried to grab me. I crawled underneath the car to get away from him. Then another person grabbed me from under the car and called the cops. I sat there with another family until the cops arrived. I still remember the thoughts that crossed my mind that day. I thought I'd never see my family again. That I might be alone forever. Then finally my mother came and she was crying. (years later I would find out she was watching me from inside the store, and that she nearly lost custody of me after that incident).

After that my Innocence was simply gone. I now knew there was a dark side along with every light side. That life wasn't filled with only happiness. Terror, fear, and death also existed. And quite frankly, I was scared....

This relates the great Russian Filmmaker Andrei Tarkovsky's debut film, "Ivan's Childhood".

Ivan's Childhood is a film about a young boy growing up during the time of World War 2 in Russia. The boy's parents and younger sister get killed by Nazi's and young Ivan is left to fend for himself. Ivan doesn't get the same type of joy from doing the same things normal kids do. The only thing on his mind is getting vengeance. At first, the Russian military rejects the idea of letting him do missions for them at such a young age. But later, they realize that Ivan is useful, and that they must give him the chance to get his vengeance.

Tarkovsky's dream sequences in this movie are in my opinion, the greatest ever made.
Ivan's Childhood opens up with an eery dream sequence of a young boy flying.
Ivan's Childhood - Opening
Tarkovsky uses his own childhood memories and dreams to form this scene. You can noticeably see Ivan's innocence in the scene, and possibly even recall your own memories.

Later in the film, Ivan has a flashback of a time his sister and he road on a wagon. It again, makes you think of your own childhood memories. The people you knew and loved, some of which are not around anymore.

Ivan's Childhood - Sister Flashback
I firmly believe this scene is the greatest in cinema history. Now believe me, I thought of many others when making this decision. It beat out "The Red Shoes" ballet dance, The underwater scene in "L'Atalante", the ending scene of "La Strada", the ending sequence where antoine doinel escapes the jail and runs to the beach,  and the kissing scene by the lake in Vertigo along with many more.

The scene says so much about life itself. We all take for granted the time we have with our families. Our existences aren't that long even though at times it seems like days can never end. We don't appreciate these little people or these little memories until it's too late.

Do you remember the greatest memory of your life?

I was around ten years old at an Indians game with my grandpa and father. Grandpa loved to heckle the players and yell out on the field to them. I remember seeing my hero, Jim Thome belt a home run over the right field wall. The peanut man was screaming and the beer man must of made $20 off my dad.

The simple things can sometimes be the most important in life

Fast-forward ten years and my grandpa died of cancer. I was crushed. It was then I realized that these little memories are what life is all about.

So please..... Take your dad to a baseball game. Take your mom out to dinner.

We all don't have much time.....